Musings on Emily Dickinson

Every year, in late August, I am struck by the changes in light.  The shorter days and new angles of sun spur the leaves to change, and it happens whether or not temperatures drop, or school has started.

So that is why, during the hottest week of summer 2013, it’s time to dream of autumn.  From the chill of air conditioning, out any window, I no longer see summer.  Gold is creeping in, and squirrels we have not noticed for months are in the yard, doing their squirrel work.

Emily Dickinson wrote a poem called, “The Name of It is “Autumn”, which is one of my favorites.  Emily was born to a prominent family in Amherst, Massachusetts, lived a remarkably sequestered life, and died in 1886 at the age of 56.   Taken at face value, this work is a beautiful depiction of fall landscape.  However, given that it was written in 1862, it is clear that the dark reality of the Civil War did not escape her.  She read the daily newspaper from the safety of her family home in the Northeast, and came up with this Haiku-esque beauty.

The name – of it- is “Autumn” -

The hue – of it – is Blood –

An artery – upon the Hill –

A vein – along the Road –

Great Globules – in the Alleys –

And Oh, the Shower of Stain –

When Winds, upset the Basin –

And spill the Scarlet Rain –

It sprinkles Bonnets - far below –

It gathers ruddy Pools –

Then – Eddies like a rose – Away

Upon Vermillion Wheels –

Now, since Emily never married, and by all accounts scarcely left her parent’s home or even her own room, I leave you with the following poem to ponder.  She did not tend to title her work, just assign it a number.  This one is 506.  I find fascinating the fact that such a proper and reclusive lady had a rich, inner life.  But in this case, it sure sounds like somebody was getting some action…  Just sayin’.

He touched me, so I live to know
That such a day, permitted so
I groped upon his breast
It was a boundless place to me
And silenced, as the awful sea
Puts minor streams to rest

And now, I'm different from before
As if I breathed superior air
Or brushed a Royal Gown
My feet, too, that had wandered so
My Gypsy face—transfigured now
To tenderer Renown

Into this Port, if I might come
Rebecca, to Jerusalem
Would not so ravished turn
Nor Persian, baffled at her shrine
Lift such a Crucifixial sign
To her imperial Sun

Well, how about that?  The last stanza is a bit convoluted - but the first two?  Come on! 

My habit of irreverence aside, today I invite you to take a few minutes and ponder this woman’s rich inner life and written legacy, coming to you from a far away Autumn.

xoxo

jean

Gratuities - Think Before You Thank

Most of us don’t spend a lot of time thinking about the custom of tipping.  It seems like standard procedure to do so, when receiving a service.  These days, with “tip” jars on every coffee shop counter, and services like Massage Therapy gaining in popularity, it bears review. 

The practice of leaving a gratuity for service seems to have begun in 16^th century England.  Houseguests would leave something for the “help”, since they had extra duties while they visited.  It was a way to compensate underpaid workers, and this is why it can be considered faux pas to tip the owner of a business.  The general custom of tipping did not begin in the US until after the Civil War, when travel abroad exposed us to that culture, and we brought it back.

Since it’s opening in September 2008, Mindful Massage has had a zero gratuities policy.  There is a little sign in my studio that reflects this fact, and I am very comfortable with the decision.  Regular clients have grown accustomed.  I do, however, get asked about it quite frequently – even by colleagues.  Here are my top reasons, and darned good ones if I do say so myself.

1.       As the business owner, as mentioned above, gratuities should not be accepted.  Many people still tip their hair stylists, even if they own the salon.  Salons have much higher overhead than I do, and different atmosphere, so a case could be made.   Massage Therapists working within a salon/spa setting depend on tips, since they only make a fraction of the fee charged. 

2.       I see Massage Therapy as a necessity of good health for many.  As I have said, “you do not tip your physical therapist, personal trainer or dental hygienist, do you?”  It is a way that I bring the healthcare element to my industry.

3.       As a Massage Therapy client myself, I know that I spend the last minutes of the massage at a new place wondering how much I should leave.  The very idea that anyone on my table would spend one second calculating a tip is cringe-worthy!  Add to this the fact that many clients know each other and may wonder how they compare as a “tipper”.  Ugh!

4.       I intensely dislike the implication of a bigger tip yielding better future service. 

5.       When you buy a massage as a gift, wouldn’t it be nice not to require the recipient to pay for gratuity out of pocket?

6.       It’s simply a better value and easier to budget monthly when the price is just the price.

What I hope to accomplish with all of this is to spur more thought on this gratuity thing, which should be commensurate with quality of service.   It is meant as a “thank you”.  We all work hard for our money, and it should not be a perfunctory duty to leave extra every time you turn around.  Reward the good ones generously, but do not feel compelled to give 20% extra for passionless work!

And next time you see “tip jar” on the cashier’s counter, put a scrap of paper in that says “don’t smoke in bed”. 

I dare you.

jean

Cauliflower - It's What's For Dinner

If you had told 12 year old me I'd be craving what is in this photo, I would have laughed my roller skates clean off!  But that is just what happened today, and nothing else would do.  Nothing fancy or complicated, for sure.  But it is my own made up combo, and I thought you might like to try it.

1 head fresh cauliflower, cut into size you like.
1 lb. fresh brussels sprouts, outer leaves removed and cut in quarters if large ones, half for smaller ones.

Place prepared veggies on a single baking sheet.  Today I used about 1/4 cup of avocado oil, but olive oil is great too.  Pour it right on there, shimmy the baking sheet to distribute and add sea salt, black pepper, crushed red pepper and CURRY.  Omg curry is the magic ingredient.  The house smells divine!

Roast in preheated 400 degree oven for a good 15 - 20 mts.  Serve on top of whole wheat pasta, which gives it protein, for a complete meal!  Oh, sometimes I add a bit of feta or parmesan cheese if I'm feeling crazy like that. 

Enjoy!

jean

More Massage Therapy FAQs- Lotion and Talking

Very recently, I've had some new questions asked by the-person-on-the-table-who-shall-always-remain-nameless.  I really enjoy it when clients ask direct questions about their treatment, and relish the opportunity to demystify any aspect of massage therapy.  Of course, my answers are from my perspective and experience, but I hope they are helpful.

Also, you do not have to be a client to have your Q answered here.  Feel free to email me at swashblogger@gmail.com with anything you'd like to say - massage therapy, or otherwise.  Your idea may appear here anonymously (or with full credit, if you prefer!)

Q:  What type of lotion do you use for my treatment?  What's in it?

A:  Some people think in terms of actual ingredients (and rightfully so). I've heard the statement "don't put anything on your skin that you would not eat".  It's a great concept, as skin is a breathable organ, but perhaps a bit of an overstatement.  For example.  Would you drink the pool or lake water you swim in?  Do you use Neosporin on your morning toast?
It makes sense to minimize the number of ingredients in the lotion we use, but most of what is on the mainstream market is generally considered very safe.  I have gone almost exclusively with professional products like Biotone and Lotus touch, which are widely used in the industry.

My largest concern when choosing a product is whether it is fragrance and petroleum free and the correct viscosity for the particular type of massage.  Thinner lotions are more conducive to Swedish-style work, while thicker lotions tend to absorb more slowly and are better for deep tissue.  Those of you that have been on my table know I use a minimal amount of lotion for most treatments.  Lifting the tissue and sports work calls for little or no emollient.
Also, I personally do not like the feel of oil, no matter how fine, on my skin.  This is one exception to the "don't put your preferences on your client" rule.  If I am creeped out by the feel, how can I be effective?
I do use a tiny drop of aromatherapy oil here and there, mixed into the other product, however.
Finally, I always invite you to bring your own product(s) if you have sensitive skin or a strong preference. 
I will roll with it!

Q:  Does it bother you (the therapist), when I talk during my massage? 

A:  It probably does not come as a surprise that I LOVE to talk, and I am NEVER bored by the chats I have with clients.  I also recognize that talking can be part of the relaxation process - it was for me when I first started receiving massage.  It's a safe place to hash out your day, discuss your recent vacation,  upcoming event or even an annoying store clerk.  I really do consider it an honor to provide an atmosphere of privacy that allows this to flow.

Now. Here is the other side of that coin.  There are times when (usually a first-time client) feels the need to "entertain" me while I work.  This is very common, and I pride myself on putting people at ease.  So, usually by the second or third treatment the topics change, and they are able to relax more quickly. 
Also, when receiving work to the front of the neck, face, or scalp, it is HIGHLY recommended that the client not only be silent, but also meditate on letting go of each area touched.  Even 10 minutes of this will be day-altering! 

Lastly, it is absolutely more than fine to say at the beginning of treatment that you really desire quiet.  I am usually pretty in tune to when to stop engaging a client in talk - you know, the moment when your brain goes numb and begin to trail off.  But, you will not hurt my feelings by requesting an hour of complete silence at the outset.  I even keep music to a very background level so that it can be tuned out completely when your brain is relaxing. 

Bottom line:  It is YOUR time.  One of my favorite aspects of my job is leaving myself at the door and being present for another person.  Do what feels right to you in regards to communicating.  Sometimes you may know what you need on a given day, other times you can let it  happen organically.  Just be sure to make it about what YOU need in the moment.  Massage should be a different experience each time you receive.

We fight gravity all day every day, massage is your opportunity to let it win for an hour.  Have fun with it!

xoxo

jean

 

In Praise of Western Medicine

Man, I love to play devil’s advocate.  On the subject of traditional v holistic approaches to wellness, I have a fairly good view from both sides.  My mother was an old school Registered Nurse, before and up until the shift in the healthcare system.  For those of you who are not old enough to remember, let’s call it “the time before open heart surgery was practically an outpatient procedure.”

Common in our house growing up were graphic hospital work tales of motorcycle wipe outs, accidental needle sticks, and various and sundry unchecked venereal cases.  Somehow, out of this, I grew to have a deep respect for medical doctors.  Along with this appreciation, we were taught that our health was, ultimately our responsibility.  A doctor is one person, who largely uses the information you provide to help you.  He or she does not have a crystal ball, and it is your job to help them connect the dots when you are sick, and express concerns you have about staying well.  For example, you’d be surprised the number of women who cannot tell the obgyn when was the start of their last period.  C’mon ladies. 

Ask yourself this:  What if next time I went to the doc, I whipped out a well kept log of (insert symptoms here), including times, possible triggers, what I did to calm it, etc.    Do you think maybe the doc would respond in kind and be grateful for an informed and motivated patient?

I am a practitioner of what is largely regarded as a holistic practice, Massage Therapy.  Though I would argue that it can be very clinical, it meets the holistic requirement of facilitating the body’s natural inclination to seek homeostasis, or “perfect” balance. 

Obviously, I am a huge believer in massage and its power.  But, I am respectful of the boundaries of “natural” practices, up to and including acupuncture, hypnosis, homeopathy, yoga, chiropractic, reflexology and a whole host of others.  Just as these have limits, so too does traditional medicine - and  I don’t ever want to be without either side!

My point is this.  All practitioners are just human beings.  Doctors do not live inside your body, feel what you feel, and they cannot be expected to hatch a proper course of treatment without your help.  I hear a lot of anti medical community banter, and I don’t agree with it.  I assure you that doctors are not lying awake at night trying to figure out how to poison you with pills.  And if you have a condition that can be controlled ONLY with holistic practices, that is wonderful.  It is my greatest wish for all of us.

But should you ever need something a bit stronger, please give your MD a little something to go on.

xo

jean

Babies Juggling Chainsaws - A Story of Craigslist Faith

This is a true story of a situation that could have gone very wrong, but didn’t.  I choose to view it as a testament to old fashioned trust, meeting up with a great work ethic.

This spring I had finally had enough.  The yard had been steadily getting worse over the last 3 – 5 years, as we were doing only the bare minimum to keep up with it.  We had to admit defeat over the overgrowth of bushes, trees, weeds and uncharted, plant-able areas.  I say “we”, because my husband lives here too, but would rather hang by his toenails than spend weekends carrying out landscape projects.  Whatever happened to kids (my own, the neighbors’) who would do odd jobs for cash? 

On a whim, I opened up my local Craigslist page and searched “landscapers”.  One of the first to pop up was clearly put up by an individual and not a big company.  The ad said they served ours and the towns surrounding us, and contained a number I spontaneously dialed.

After an initial overview, we settled on a date for him to come out and look at the job.  He showed up promptly, in a new pickup truck with a small wood chipper unit in back.  I was struck by how young he looked, but he listened intently and was professional.  We settled on a date to start the work.

On that date he showed up ready to work and brought his younger brother.  Adorable, brace-faced kid I figured for maybe 15.  What followed was the most anxiety-inducing afternoon of my life

Watching two kids, on a ladder, with a chain saw hacking and trimming and using a wood chipper was agony.   I mean, it literally felt like I’d hired babies to juggle chainsaws on our property!  I gave the younger one some work gloves, and sheepishly asked if they had safety goggles.  Nah.  I also distantly wondered if their mother knew where they were.

They worked like troopers until nearly dark and did an amazing job.  In one day, the yard was taking shape!  I will not tell you what they charged, but I will tell you I paid about a third extra and told them they are under-valuing their work.

I found myself inviting them back for more yard projects.  Instinctively, I knew I’d found a gem.

The second visit, he brought his sister.  A beautiful young girl who pulled every weed, no matter how small.  I couldn’t resist asking “how old are you and your brother?”  She replied that she’s 18 and he is 26.  Twenty six!  A grown man, who I had taken for maybe 19.  Sadly, everyone looks like a teenager to me these days.

They have been back to our yard 4 times, and scheduled for a 5^th.  Last time, an older brother came, too.  He worked until dusk with the other guys.  That time, as I brought them sandwiches, I couldn’t resist asking “how many of you are there?”  To which he replied, “twelve”.  I’d like to shake the hand of those parents. 

How many of us, usually myself included, would be too afraid to take such a leap of faith?  I mean, they could have been anyone, and up to anything.  But in this instance, not over-thinking it yielded one of the best contractor experiences I’ve had as a homeowner.  And, it feels good to give money to such industrious, professional and pleasant “children”.   

So, for me the moral of the story is that sometimes, “cover your ass” mentality keeps you from the very best things.  Try a little more trust – in your own judgment, as well as the decency of others. 

Helen Keller said “Avoiding danger, in the long run, is no safer than outright exposure”. 

Wonder if she ever used a chain saw.

jean

Your Lymphatic System and You. Yes You.

Of course I love muscles. They are the “meat” of my business so to speak.  But today I woke up thinking about the lymph system (I know, it’s a problem).  We spend a significant amount of time studying it in school, only to not speak much about it in practice.

Stimulation and draining of the lymph system is believed to be one of the biggest benefits of regular massage.  A good deal of the relief you feel after a massage is due to even incidental movement of lymph fluid back into the “hopper” as I call it.  Unlike blood, lymph does not have an automatic pump to move it through the body to be cleansed.  It requires muscle contraction to force it along.  Think of the analogy of a self-winding watch.  Leave it on the dresser and things stop moving. 

Now, the job gets done primarily by living our daily lives, walking around, exercise programs etc.  Massage can give a serious boost to the process.  There is even a specialty in massage called MLD (Manual Lymphatic Drainage) that is gaining popularity.  It requires lot of additional training and in future I believe will be used widely as a pre and post operative treatment, particularly for oncology patients.

So what IS lymph fluid?  It is a clear, watery fluid containing protein molecules, salt, glucose and urea and works sort of like a soldier – collecting the used components from around the body and returning them for cleansing and responding to invaders.   You do not lose or gain significant lymphatic fluid (we each move about 3 liters per day), it just keeps wagon training through.  You can see how the filtering of it through the lymph nodes, spleen and liver are vital.  It’s the ultimate recycling process!

What does this mean to your life?

If you were inclined, you could get much more detailed information about these things by searching Google.  What I am hoping to impart is a wider appreciation for the water consumption, movement throughout the day (ahem, office workers), and regular massage that we Massage Therapists are always preaching.  By the way, you can ask your therapist to give priority to lymph fluid movement.  That is a completely valid request and the firm, consistent pressure feels great.  Consider this type of massage before and after a long trip, or even a long week behind your desk.  You will feel better and give your immune system a boost!

Thank you for giving 5 minutes today for this unsung hero, Your Lymphatic System.

Please enjoy your day.

Xo

jean