The online
dictionary defines feminism as “the doctrine advocating social, political, and
all other rights of woman as equal to those of men.” I feel monumentally lucky to live in a time
and country where, in a legal sense, this is true. Things we and our daughters take for granted
today, were once unheard of.
But now that
all of this is in place, what are we doing with it? On an interpersonal level, are you supporting
the truths that those before us suffered to establish? Just because we have all of the choices
available, are we keeping ourselves from making them freely?
We all do it
- call ourselves evolved, and then harbor a confused resentment toward those
who go against our personal tenets. If we
are to truly support a group, we must allow for ALL choices, with only ONE judgment
– that they are socially responsible, non-abusive and allow for the completely
natural variations in human beings.
In the
animal kingdom, we see plenty of it. Some
species mate for life, while others mate with multitudes every day. Often, the females are the early nurturers. But sometimes, it is the male who sits on the
egg, or keeps the babies warm while Mom hunts.
So, if we
are to support feminism, the same logic applies. These completely natural, inborn differences
are not to be tolerated, nor celebrated.
Just observe and accept them from your own place of comfort for how you
live.
A true supporter of women’s rights would not take issue with a little
girl who is dying to dress up as a princess for Halloween, or who dreams of
growing up to be a mother. More importantly, look at how she prepares for
it. It’s like the old saying – “Whatever
you are, be a good one”
Have the
Courage of Your Convictions
On the other
end of the spectrum, much of the feminist rhetoric revolves around the
traditional business world. My husband
had a booth for his business at a trade show recently. We spent four days rubbing elbows with brush
manufacturers from around the globe.
Scintillating for him, and my younger daughter and I got some serious
people watching done. I observed at
least three women speaking, almost apologetically, about leaving their children
at home. Guess how many men were talking
about that? I kept thinking, “you can
only be where you are. You’ve chosen to
be here, so why not just BE here?” The
way I see it, the power for women in these realms is one of refusal to spend
time on emotional waste. If you can separate yourself where
appropriate (dare I say, the way many men do) from the weight of conjecture of
others’ thoughts, feelings and motivations, you will transcend those that see
you as a “girl” rather than colleague.
Let me add….
In doing so,
you must not deny your femininity. Breasts
and hips are not a handicap. They are a
strong, integral part of your identity. If
you have doubts, try asking any woman who’s had a mastectomy.
What Are
We Modeling?
The above
mentioned daughter was the impetus for this blogspot. She is extremely interested in the disparity
of social convention and the unique talents that may be wasted by following
them. At the tender age of 17, she has
inspired me to explore my own judgments of women and their choices. If your
drives lean toward the stereotypically female, then the rejection of them would
also be misogynistic, no? And yes, I
believe women can be very misogynistic.
I am not
encouraging you to be a cheerleader (or linebacker) for women’s issues. Just
take silent note of those who choose differently. It is my contention that most of the distaste
we have for the “other side” comes from our own lament of the path we did not
take. Voltaire said, “Appreciation is a
wonderful thing. It makes what is
excellent in others belong to us as well.”
And every
time I see one of those “Live, Love, Laugh” signs I want to amend it to
something like this:
“Live Unapologetically,
Love Fearlessly, Laugh Louder than anyone else in the room.” … Admittedly not
as aesthetically pleasing.
As always, I
welcome your comments posted to the site, or privately at
swashblogger@gmail.com.
Xoxo
jean
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