In the
discussion of tactile greetings in our culture, it would remiss not to start
with the most common - the handshake. As
social animals, these are chock full of information. We may only make vague note of our first
impressions and judgments based on a handshake, but they are there.
For example,
we’ve all received the “dead fish” – the one where it just feels like a limp
appendage comes to rest briefly in your palm.
Or how about what I have dubbed “The Lobster Claw?” A lunging reach, culminating in a mildly
painful pincer grasp. What do you perceive
about each of these people? Is it
different if it’s a man or woman delivering it?
I should confess here that I often view
handshakes as an awkward, antiquated greeting – and one of the best ways to
spread illness. So, it’s pretty tough to
win with me on that front. In my
experience, less than half of the time do people land what I would consider the
perfect hand to hand contact. Let’s call
it “The Classic.” It is marked by a
warm, unrushed, confident touch, coupled with simultaneous eye contact and a
few kind words.
Hugs are a
completely different story. Good, solid
ones may well be the antidote for our touch deprived culture. They seem to be regaining popularity, even in
a casual business setting. At least, it
seemed like I received more of them at events this holiday season. I tell myself that is because I’m getting
more huggable with age. Or more likely, with
age, there is less risk of it being received as flirty. Boooo.
Regardless,
it set me to wondering. Is there a
cultural shift happening? I really hope
so. While still giving rise to a silent
opinion, they are virtually impossible to screw up because at any given time we
all secretly could use a hug.
I decided a
very informal text poll of some contacts was in order. It turns out, the responses were surprisingly
specific and heartfelt. Here are some
direct answers, though some partial, to “Tell me an observation you’ve made
about hugs.”
“Bigger people equal bigger, warmer hugs.” VS
“If they give a quick one, it is just
out of obligation. If they hold on and
squeeze for a bit, that tells me they are sincere. This is true whether from a man or woman.” -Pat R
Sarah states: “I’d just like to take
boobs out of the hugging equation.” I
don’t care how they are perceived. I
just don’t want to be pushing my boobs onto people.” (it should be noted here that Sarah has
magnificent boobs)
“Hugs with backpacks are awkward
because you can’t get your arms all the way around.” -VS
Beth says, “It’s the only way left to
physically show affection to my kids.
Can’t kiss them anymore, but hugs are great!”
“A good hug feels like letting the air
out of an overinflated tire – a stress reliever.” -Jim
“Usually I notice what kind of
clothes they’re wearing because I am short, so my face is on their chest. Also, I’ll notice what they smell like and
how warm they are and if they hug you tightly.”
- JP
“The verdict is still out on whether
or not they are better than drugs.” –KK
xoxo
Jean
Hi Jean,
ReplyDeleteI agree a hug is a wonderful gesture. It's so easy to show someone you care. We should all work on closing the distance between one another, so we're all less lonely and isolated.
How lovely and true. Thank you for your comment. Hugs 🙂
ReplyDelete